if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
