He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
