Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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