I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The chlamydia really affected his face.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize