..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
