is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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