Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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