their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
