Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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