Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
