whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
