shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
