last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
