I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
