Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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