I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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