You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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