Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
