i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize