also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
