Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
