am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
