5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
