i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
