I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
