Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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