hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
