Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
