That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
