speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
