hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
