Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
