I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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