she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
