you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i believe in u and ur pee
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
