It's Friday. Sex?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
honey bunches of taint.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
