I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
