I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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