O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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