You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
