I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
