paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
