My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
