So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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