it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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