nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
