Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
