Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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