Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
