you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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