I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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