please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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