Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
