my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
