i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
