Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
