yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize