You just made me feel so damn special
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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