so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
