You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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