No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
