You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
