i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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