They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
