I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
