I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
