Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
