you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
